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FFG Rants Archive — Most of 2005When the FFG Rants page gets too full the excess is dumped here to rot. After fermenting for a while the updates will be rendered down to their component letters and recycled. Files will be transferred to the Archives at random intervals, whenever we remember to do it. 11/10 - Alis As the latest hire here I could use this pulpit to spread secrets, or even lies, I suppose. Or naked truths. Or more nonsense. I have been here for months now, and this is the first time I've been required to disclose. I could tell you of the Secret Psychic Stereo-Wars in the warehouse -- though if you pay close attention, you could have figured that out for yourself. (Imagine der Tod's list of hulking electroclash creatures massing against the jam-sweet pop noises of Jason's team, The Beatles and ...Liz Phair. To say nothing of Peter's mix ecclectic, by parts Dr. Demento and marching band music.) I could disclose the semiweekly meeting place, exactly which local blue-collar Chinese eating establishment has been the company choice for the last decade. (But, not why, exactly.) I could tell you which lone member of the staff here actually wore her featherly purple fairy costume to work for Halloween, but it's bad luck to mess with Accounting, since They Pay You. I could speculate about what on earth the Sales team meets about for hours on end, or why the Illustrators wax mad about Star Wars videogames. Or, I could tell you what subtle information *I* derived from the Rants and Archives as a prospective employee, and what about them made me determined to work here. And, actually, I think I will. Many years ago I was a founding member of a small company that made fantasy-based art, Dragonspawn Crafthall. It's more than possible you or someone you know bought some of our jewelry or sculpture. That partnership lasted five years and was one of the most marvelous and terrible things I have ever experienced; in the end, it didn't last. The forces that tore it apart aren't factors here at all, and finally I have real use for my hard-won years of geek experience and contacts from that era. That's enough, I think, for now. Please take this disturbing toy cow away from me now.
11/9 - James and Casey: the Ghostbusters Corey had organized the first semi-bi-annual FFG Crokinole tournament about three weeks ago. Eight teams of two signed up, not too shabby. Casey and I were the Ghostbusters because “we had the tools, we had the talent.”
I'll have to interrupt here for a second. Its a bit of an understatement. James "Mr. Big Shot" Torr and Casey "Laser" Galvan play to win, and the rest of these "teams" had no chance. Its a little demoralizing when we can actually call our shots before we make them. I'm just saying, you know, not everyone can do that. Our victory in this tournament is money in the bank, we just have to show up and win. After some debate our theme song was this.
Sometimes, our opponents view our showmanship as trash talk, but they fail to realize what the Ghostbusters bring to the table. We add a little flash and flair, we bring the razzle dazzle to this otherwise boring game. Anyone can play Crokinole. But can anyone get inside your head and beat you physically, emotionally, and mentally? Now you're starting to understand what it means to face the Ghostbusters.
Johnny G and Brian were the Lords of Chaos. The other tournament contenders (read: teams where both players had actually played before entering the tournament) were Corey and Rob as the Great White Heat, and Scott N. and Rich as Feel the Pain. Relative newcomers to the game included Darrell and Peter as the Ten Gorillas (“no one can stop the power of ten gorillas”), Ryann and Dan as The Kalimdor Crushers (Yep, that was me -ed.), Tony and Scott W. as the Rabid Fuzzy Bunnies, and Chris and Greg as “Let the Wookie Win.” In the first round, the Great White Heat eliminated the Kalimdor Crushers, Feel the Pain bested the Rabid Fuzzy Bunnies, and the Ghostbusters made short work of the Ten Gorillas. Me again. Yep, I couldn't have played any better in this game. Sure James scored all the points for our team, but I was the one coaching us to victory. Plus the board was so waxed up its virtually impossible to tell where the puck is going next. This is what I call a "random fluctuation of dumb luck" which nullifies my overwhelming skill. Luckily, James came through and we ended an otherwise easy game. The Ghostbusters are the uncrowned champions, and unfortunately the 10 Gorillas found that out the hard way. There was some controversy in this first round since I forgot to apply my MESPI wax powder (which makes the pucks slide a lot faster on the board) until after GWH had already eliminated the Kalimdor Crushers. Ryan still has yet to play on the oh-so-fast waxed board, and Tony and Scott W.’s game was noticeably thrown off by the faster surface. The match between the Lords of Chaos and Let the Wookie Win was delayed by scheduling conflicts, and the meantime the Ghostbusters, in a game rife with trash-talk, prevailed against the Great White Heat. Again, my superior showmanship shined through. The Great White Heat (name sake of the shark) scored some early lucky points (remember Random Fluctuations of Dumb Luck!) against us, but what they failed to realize was who they were dealing with. James Torr and Casey "Laser" Galvan don't lose. In fact, the Ghostbusters put the branches over the pit, and set the trap perfectly. After the GWH were a bit overconfident on their early score, James caught fire and started scoring points while I used masterful "strategery" to set up yet another Ghostbusters win. The GWH misunderestimated our skill, and as you can see the Ghostbusters packed a rod and reel in this game and got ourselves a live one. As a memento of our game I posted this on the GWH's office door:
Yours truly missed the match between the Lords of C. and the Wookies, but by all accounts it was quite tense and certainly the longest match of the tourney. It was also the match with the closest score, as the Lords won 100-75. The final match came this past Friday, and as the image in Friday’s rant shows . . . the Ghostbusters choked. The first two rounds of the match were dead even, and I really think that mostly, Casey and I were in shock that anyone was playing near our level :-) The Lords of Chaos won 100-55. If Casey and I weren’t shocked during the match, we certainly were afterwards. Someone call 911, because the Ghostbusters were robbed. I'll admit defeat and give credit where credit is due....The Ghostbusters beat the Ghostbusters. If we were guilty of anything, we were guilty of outplaying ourselves. Then factor in the amazing circus shots and luck factor of the Lords of Chaos and you've got the upset of the century. First off, James and I were hitting shot after shot and these guys manage to somehow answer. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I was sick that day and my hand cramped up during some pre game warm up calisthenics, but because the Ghostbusters have heart and character, we played through adversity and managed to do well considering the circumstances. The "impartial" judge just happened to be a former member of the Great White Heat, still bitter about the schooling he received at our hands no doubt. So due to random fluctuations of dumb luck, the unthinkable, the unlikely, the unbelievable happened, on Black Friday the Ghostbusters lost a match. Casey recovered more quickly than I did, and by Friday afternoon was challenging the Lords to a rematch. This time the loser would buy the winner lunch. So the Lords of Chaos were cocky fresh off their miracle win over the Ghostbusters, so it was time to raise the stakes. While some parts of the office think of the Ghostbusters as degenerate gamblers, I think we just like to spice things up. So to make things interesting, we agreed that the loser of the rematch had to buy the winner's lunch. Since we were 500,000/900 favorites, we didn't feel much pressure. Being the overdog is nothing new. The stage was set for Ghostbusters vs. Lords of Chaos 2. This time, there would be no lucky shots or miracle wins. The LoC were helpless, hopeless, and doomed. We were going to find out who the best team was, the Ghostbusters or the Ghostbusters. The Lords of Chaos failed to get another Miracle on Wax, and we won 100-0. Shut. Out. James and me, we're hustlers. Sure we may have lost a controversial meaningless tournament, but when the chips were down, we rallied for a victory. Wait, scratch that. We didn't rally from anything, the final score was 100 to zip. The big goose egg, the choke, the LoC were "clipperized." John was certainly not "Goodenough" today, and Brian "Shmoburg" failed to score at least 5 points. As I predicted, the Ghostbusters did what they do and won the big game. No big deal really, just another day at the office so to speak. I'm not one to brag, but we were hitting sick shots and the LoC could never capitalize. Sweet vindication! Food won is twice as sweet as food earned. This pretty much sums it up:
Honestly, I would’ve rather won the tourney, and I have to give the Lords of Chaos their due. But we did win some vindication . . . and a free Chinese buffet.
11/8 - Rich
Day 11 - Tanaris, outside entrance of Zul’Farrak - Today, a mage in my group thought it would be amusing to challenge my awesome palliness to a duel. I, being more level headed than my magic using counterpart, declined the request, due the the local insurgencies of Horde at that very location just moments ago. He proceeded to make rude gestures in my general direction, aggravating my urge to defend my honor. Eventually I agreed to such a duel, to not only defend my honor, but the honor of paladins everywhere, and beyond. The duel started with him waving his hands franticly casting a spell. Quickly intervening with this nonsense, I tossed a large hammer at his person, disorientating him. I then brought out my secret anti-mage weapon... the gnomish death ray. Though it made my hair stand on end, the resulting blast knocked the mage down outright, clearing gaining me a victory in this battle. However, he replied to my actions with such idiocies such as “GDR, thatz n00b” and “GDR is fur dumiz.” At this point, I realized that my efforts to show this poor soul the error of his ways were in vain, so I did the only rational thing a person could do... “/kick
Day 12 - Wetlands - While escorting a young, inexperienced lady to the harbor, a large reptile attacked our party, thinking the young lass an easy meal. Needless to say, we had a lovely crocolisk steak shishkabob that night with a side of Runn Tum Tuber Surprise. It was delicious. Could have used more Hot Spices, though.
Day 13 - Western Plaguelands - I was walking along an old path to pay my respects to Uther, when I came upon a large group of Tauren ruffians beating on and causing general distress to a helpless warrior. I, of course, had to intervene. I loudly screamed my battle shout, “Eat Holy Hand Grenade, you fiends!” and proceeded to toss one of my newly fashioned explosives into the fray. Quickly, before they noticed what event was transpiring, I bandaged the warrior’s wounds and sent him away, and then turned to face the cretins. I put up quite the valiant fight, but soon their numbers were beginning to wear on my fortitude. I did not plan on letting them claim a victory against the Alliance, so I called upon Uther to shield me in from harm and activated my hearthstone. I unapologeticly waved goodbye to my newfound friends as the green waves of the hearthstones aura overtook me and transported mind, body, and soul to Ironforge, capitol city of the dwarves. I bought some cheese while I was there, some nice Dwarven Mild. Delicious cheese...
Day 13 - Unknown - Attended a gathering at the inn in Darkshire. Lovely good time. Remember falling asleep on a boat. Woke up in the middle of the Barrens. Three quarters of the durability is gone on my equipment, and for some reason I have a cook’s meat tenderizer in one hand, an old turtle shell in the other, and for some reason I am clothed in a tuxedo. Last time I ever party with gnomes...
Journal Entries of Bigusmaxicus
11/4 - DOUBLE RANT FRIDAY
Corey
Jason
Well, today I'm taking musical priority over the warehouse. The last chance I had to do so, I ran the Beatles for 5 hours straight. That's the strange thing about those shaggy prophets of the sixties - you can listen to them for hours and hours on end and it is STILL just as valid as it ever was. Yeah, you think, "all you need is love." And the blackbird always flies into the light of a dark black night, doesn't he? Darker than night. That is what we should all aspire to be. What am I saying? Hmmm...someone may have put something in this Hamburger Helper when I wasn't looking. And if I haven't mentioned how great Liz Phair is, I will do so again. The new album is great, mortals. You may not think much of it on the first listen, and the second time around it may seem like a bit underaverage, but listen another 46 or 47 times. It will get into your blood and spike your soul with angst, compassion, and flavor. I have to rank her up there with such greats as Dylan, Joel, and Zevon. Maybe not comparable in every way, but definitely great in her own light.
The Hamburger Helper is setting in. I can feel the fat thickening in my veins and arteries. I am perhaps becoming a lard golem. Ha ha. I bet a lard golem could do warehouse work a little easier than I could. Its sheer weight would be enough to pull the pallet jack around, and if a box ever fell on it, I'm certain it would bounce right off harmlessly. The odor would be more than anyone could stand - but hey - you need to make some compromises somewhere. So if I eat more of this greasy gruel every lunch period I have here at FFG, I'm certain to transform into a lard golem by Christmas. Hehe. What a shock I'm gonna give everyone!! ::eating faster::
So what have we learned this rant? Liz Phair is great, the Beatles are sublime, and eating is just unnecessary unless you're using it as a device to transform into something large, disgusting, and impervious to pain. :)
11/3 - Darrell
I cannot give back the time I’ve wasted not ranting, but I can do my best to make up for it with a long, rambling rant that seeks to make up in length what it lacks in coherence.
First, let me tell you about my game, “Zombie Doom.”
Ingredients:
The game is played basically like Doom: One player is the GM, the others each control a hero, who can Advance, Unload, etc.
What makes it cool (to me) is that instead of being hardened marines fighting off hordes of demons in the Mars station, the heroes are survivors of a plague, fighting off hordes of shambling zombies in an apocalyptic wasteland.
What makes it extra cool is that the poor saps don’t know what’s coming. Unlike Doom (or even Descent), the hero players don’t know the monsters’ stats until they encounter them – and even then, the rules can change.
For example, in the last game I ran, the heroes looked to see a handful of zombies shambling down out of the woods on the far side of the board. They shrugged and went back to looting, confident they had plenty of time to finish stocking up on candy and ammo. Then I rolled a d6, got a “4,” and all the zombies ran that many extra spaces. That got their attention.
This weekend, I’m playing around with an experience system, so the heroes can “level up.” I’m thinking of giving out 1-3 xp per zombie kill, plus xp for finding food, ammo, and other supplies. The players can then spend their xp to purchase extra Health, a random Marine Card, or a skill die (something I’ve stolen from Descent). If the players are willing to save up, they can even purchase an Ally – their own personal meat shield to help fight off the undead hordes.
We’ll see how it goes. If anyone cares, I could post the system I’m using to write the scenarios, and maybe write up this weekend’s scenario. Geeky? Oh, yes. But it could be fun
10/17 - Evil Dan
Evil Dan,
We in the Great White North (Toronto- below the frost layer basement
gamers) played GW version of "Fury of Dracula" and found it's supplied dice to be weak and sub-standard when subjected to our angry catastrophic failure tests. The dice, after rolling 1's during 6 critical times in a row, during combat, failed to hold structural integrity when subjected to Andy's bench vice. It crumbled amidst laughter.
Regards,
Daniel
Canadian Dan,
The Old Black Rum does not, in fact, have a hold of me, and I'm not quite crazy enough to put my dice in a bench vise.
Be that as it may, the Fury of Dracula dice are being vigorously stress-tested. They are formed of a perfect carbon-matrix cube, pips dug out with diamond-tipped drills and re-filled with titanium-white paint for perfect balance and maximum resiliency. They will successfully stand up to a charging rhino, take an anti-tank round without a scratch, and can, in a pinch, be fired from a musket (powder not included) with perfect cubical aerodynamics.
Holy water is not included - it is too difficult to ship internationally.
We suggest you replace the included dice with sugar cubes, which will smash satisfactorily when they roll poorly and make your fingers taste good.
~Dan
10/14 - Brian S.
That’s right. I’m in the City of Villains mmorpg beta test. They have lifted the NDA and invited the masses to “stress test” their servers tonight and I will be one of the lucky lunatics spending this beautiful fall evening indoors, in the dark, wrapped around my keyboard.
I wish I had screenshots to post for you. Perhaps of my robot minions blowing the hell out of gang bangers who crossed my path; or pictures of me laying waste to a bank vault door with my plasma rifle. But I’ve got nothing to show. All my screenshots are at home, so you will just have to imagine it. For those of you planning on playing the game, I will be posting more details on my world takeover plans later. Perhaps when the real game releases you can aid in my sinister plans.
OBSCURE GAME KNOWLEDGE TEST:
Finally, for you local rant readers:
If you like weird creepy art you HAVE to go check this show out. It’s FREE and he rocks. But you have to hurry. The show ends next week (Hmmm. I'm not certain, but I think Brian means next month. -ed).
Chris Mars at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts
10/13 - Scott W.
I think Scott is trying to get out of future rants by confusing the heck out of me. Not gonna work. -ed.
10/12 - Jim R.
Cheers,
10/11 - Tod
Current fave CDs:
10/10 - Scott Nicely
10/7 - Ryann
9/28 - Bobbi
The corner of my desk is a battle ground of the ages. There she sits, all five heads of her. Tiamat. Her jaws clench already fallen victims. At her feet, Sméagol minis aid her dastardly plans. In opposition stand Axis and Allies minis, fighting TOGETHER, and lead by an Elf on horseback. It is a beautiful cosmic dance…
The Life and Times of the FFG Marketing Department are good. We are anxiously looking forward to this Friday when FFG will make a company outing to see the premier of Serenity. Ahhh yes…it’s good to work for a geek company… :P
I’m also happy to report that the Rant Cow has gone missing (horary!). (I feel compelled to mention at this point that the Rant Cow is a gift from my girlfriend's father to my girlfriend, and on loan - ed.) I suspect Tiamat ate her. Good Tiamat. Yus. Sooo sweet.
In other news, Canada is no longer being kept in my freezer. :D
9/20 - Tony
It's Tuesday, I have been going to do this for almost a week now. Seems everytime I start there is something that comes up and I will forget to do so. I am the guilty party as to why Moo here hasn't been making his (or possibly her -ed.) rounds. Ya see, working in the warehouse it's real easy to misplace him (or possibly her -ed.). Turns out him (or possibly her -ed.) and Beowulf were over having a party with the Gang from Runebound. Sheesh the mess they made I will be cleaning up from this party for weeks. I was gonna bring you all another segment of Interviews From the Warehouse, but seems even great Cthulhu was at that party and none of them are in any shape to give an interview at this time. I promise though, next time this comes around to me I will be ready and bring you that interview you are all waiting for.
On another note a good friend of mine who collects unusual or cool watches sent me a link to this new watch out by Fossil and I feel the need to share this with you all for I think more then one of you will find this very cool. So oh great and powerful and yet mildly Evil Dan if you would be so kind as to include this link that would be great.
See? Servilitude and obedience. I like it. Your link is granted. Let this be a lesson to all of you. -ed.
Hope you enjoy, heaven knows I wish I could afford this for myself. Well, back to cleaning up the party. Take care all and many happy returns.
Tony D (a man of so many nicknames yet so few who would understand)
9/19 - Scott W.
I have also been getting in some gaming and began tracking my plays at the ‘Geek (screen name: littleweb). I have tried to rotate who I play with at lunch so that I get to know everyone here a little better, but there are still a few that I haven’t played yet. I’ll put it on my “TO DO” list.
After a one-year hiatus from the Wheeler Lake Fantasy Football League, my team made a triumphant return in week one by beating the commissioner of the league. Our editor here, James, also convinced me to join a Gamblor Survivor League where each owner chooses one team to win for the week. If the owner is correct, they get to pick the following week, if they are incorrect, they are out. Week one was not kind to half the league as several of us got “Martzed” when San Francisco pulled off the upset win against St. Louis.
9/13 - Evil Dan
Speaking of Evil, Blizzard should be delighted to know that my experience playtesting World of Warcraft: the Board Game induced me to start playing World of Warcraft: the Devourer of Lives in the online format. I am quite certain that I have done other things in the past few weeks, but I can't quite seem to recall what. If you are on the Argent Dawn server and you happen to see a human mage named Alariq run by, give him your obedience and your gold. Especially your gold - mounts aren't cheap, and Blink is just not a travel spell.
I have passed the reins on our Thursday-night D&D group over to Rich for the nonce, but I continue plotting for my glorious return to power. The PCs won't know what hit them. The fools have allowed me to infiltrate their ranks!
It's also worth noting that my beautiful Rant Cow, Poobah Moo, has been slain. Investigations are under way - I suspect Andrew, and his unholy pact with vampires, have done her in. I may be evil, but I don't hold with the walking dead, so Andrew, consider yourself warned ... retribution will come.
I've just remembered what I've done aside from World of Warcraft: I've watched a lot of Firefly. Holy crap is it good - it's like Cowboy Bebop with all the jazz, blues, and cynicism stripped out, leaving only good-hearted space-western fun. I am currently quite annoyed that I have only one more DVD before I run out of episdoes entirely. Curses!
9/12 - Andrew
9/8 - Jason
I must say that this has been a GREAT....ummm....seven days. What will the next week be like? What will the next month or two be like? I'm not really sure but all I can say is BRING IT ON. I'll take on anything with the utmost frevor. Is that a word? Frevor? Did I even spell it right? (Fervor. Close enough. -ed.) Shoot...if I wasn't such a stickler for spelling. I have to add that I'm the only Asian person working here. Wait...let me check. Hmmmm....::looking around:: Yeah. I'm the only person here (with the exception of our lovely ladies) not capable of growing a massive amount facial hair. When I was hired, I actually thought one of the prerequisites of working here had to be looking like a roughly shaven lad from Lord of the Rings. I suppose I was wrong! Still - I feel a little left out. You know...I tried growing a moustache, but it just doesn't fly. I end up looking like one of Miyazaki's characters with those cheesey Fu-Man-Chus. Yeah yeah...please don't mention any of this.
God....what's the time? Am I getting paid to type? Well...I suppose I can go a few more PAGES. Hehe. I'm kidding. If anyone's wondering what I'm interested in, I'll let you in on it now. I learned D&D when I was 16 and got hooked on RPGs. In my longest running campaign I played a minotaur named Molok and had one of the highest damage bonuses in the group. Oh - sure I was useless against anything that flew, but such is the life of a minotaur. You sit on the ground and threaten anything to land. And you rebuff a lot of cow jokes. It's okay. It's our lot in life. :) I also dropped over 2 grand on Magic: the Gathering in the Fall 1995 and pretty much ignored homework and studying at Concordia College. Yeah, I was en English Major, but a lot of good that did me. Heh. Sure - I dropped out with a 1.8 GPA, but I sure learned a lot about Magic. A good trade off, don'tcha think? Most recently I've been interested in boardgames, which brings me to why I'm here at FFG. I think some of the best boardgames are made right here in Roseville. And no - I'm not saying that because anyone could be looking over my shoulder at any second. I believe in what people do here, and I hope this'll be my home for a while. Everyone seems pretty laid back and easygoing here. Well...I hear the pterodactyl screaming - I'd best be moving on. (And if you know that reference, you are TOO OLD!)
9/7 - Good Dan
By Saturday, I thought my feet were going to snap off at the ankles. It wasn’t so much the walking, but the standing. Next year, I’ll buy special shoes if I have to.
Between our breaks and the hour either following or preceding booth duty, I was able to peruse the hall and see all the cool new games. In particular, it was awesome to pick up signed copies of Rich Burlew’s Order of the Stick: On the Origin of the PCs. I highly recommend checking out his web comic. Naturally, now I’m broke.
One of these day’s we’ll get “True Neutral John” to rant- even if I have to secretly tape record his daily ramblings and post a transcript. Hey, now there’s an idea…
9/6 - Rich
This week I start GMing for our gaming group. For the first five sessions, I think the only monsters they will see are panthers... lots and lots of panthers. At Gen-Con, Dan (the evil one) was able to get me a huge bag of swag, which happened to consist of about a hundred Guenhwyvar’s (Drizzt D’Urden’s* panther). Why would I want to use that many panthers in a campaign? Because I can. As a side note, I also got a couple Axis and Allies figures from Thor. I guess I could use Panzers instead of panthers, but given that the world is a fantasy setting, that would just be silly.
Indy Movie Watch: two movies that you should watch if you have the chance: “Murderball” and “Eat Drink Man Woman.” (I haven't seen "Murderball," but I can heartily second the reccomendation of "Eat Drink Man Woman" - ed.)
*Sorry if I spelled this horribly wrong, especially if you are R. A. Salvatore.
9/2 - Tod
I went and saw the new ‘Brothers Grimm’ film last weekend. Even though all of the reviews I had read beforehand were pretty “grim” I didn’t think it was all that bad. Not necessarily worth an evening’s $8-10 price but just fine for an afternoon matinee. It seems to me that the film would have gotten much better ratings if Terry Gilliam’s name had not been attached to it. The ‘Brothers Grimm’ is not a typical Gilliam film. There are moments where Gilliam’s unique sense of style and humor break through the cracks, but other than that, most people would not even know that he was behind it. Putting aside the stylistic complaints, it really is not a terrible movie. Visually, it comes in close behind Tim Burton’s ‘Sleepy Hollow’ in set and costumes – very cool. The acting is decent, the story is adequate but most importantly, it features a werewolf and Monica Bellucci! Mmm…Monica Bellucci…need I say anything more?
Current fave CDs:
8/29 - Evil Dan
At GenCon, someone will get it. It's okay to publicly display your addiction to CCGs or to bear a Starfleet Communicator pinned to your chest. You can revel in your geekdom and relax, knowing that near forty thousand of your fellows are doing the exact same thing.
We did well. Our booth ran smoothly, our events came off okay, and I even found myself enjoying demoing our games. Descent: Journeys in the Dark was particularly well received, which I found gratifying because I can pretend I had something to do with it (it's the first FFG product to go from zero to release since I was hired, so I was at least aware if not exactly involved at every stage of its development).
I did not get as much chance to play games as I would have liked, unfortunately. See, I foolishly figured that packing light was the order of the day and I wanted to play a game I'd find somebody there who had a copy to play with. Ohhh, boy, was that a mistake. First of all, everybody at FFG (or at least the people I was rooming with) had pretty much the same idea, and aside from a few decks of Call of Cthulhu there was very little gaming goodness on hand to choose from. Second of all, after a long day of demoing games and generally working the con, the spirit may be willing but the flesh is weak. I was generally the first to bed of all my roommates while we were there (this turned out to be a good thing in some ways, but more on that later), crashing exhausted before being able to even find a game most nights.
All was not lost, though. Scott W. brought enough Cthulhu cards for us to set up and play a very enjoyable sealed-deck tournament in which I placed second (Tony, you are a hard man to beat!). After our developers got kicked out of their room and relocated to the Presidential Suite, nightly gaming parties began to spring up there and I got to play a little game called Nuclear War, which was odd considering how much of a pacifist I am. Hearing people cracking comments like "do you have change for 25 million people?" was disheartening to say the least, not least because my country began the game with a measly 24 million to its name … and I also got to demo Descent: Journeys in the Dark again, this time for some of our own staff plus extras. But do I have a copy of Journeys in the Dark for myself? No. I don't get to have one until the general release in about a month.
I showed them, though. On Thursday night I stayed after work and finally played a game of Journeys in the Dark straight through, start to finish, using the same copy I was demoing with all weekend! Haha! No more demoing for me!
I mentioned that I'd get back to why it was a good thing that I did more sleeping than gaming. Well, quite simply, I came home from GenCon healthy and able to work. I was tired, of course, but not exhausted, and I never, ever got sick, which is more than can be said for most of the rest of the staff! Go me!
In other news, I just moved into a new apartment (up a flight of stairs from my old one) and I now have a game room. This is a big deal. As we speak, last night's D&D game is still set up. Yes, you read that right: I did not have to immediately clean it up. It can remain there until I play it again, or play a different game. I can also, for the first time in a long time, realistically invite people over to my place for things. Phenomenal!
In other other news, my girlfriend surprised me with tickets to see Great Big Sea at the Minnesota State Fair this weekend. Hot damn. Great Big Sea was opening for some band named Sawyer Brown or something that I've never heard of and couldn't care less about (I guess they're country music? Dunno), but man, give me that traditional Newfoundland sea shanty sound any day. They rocked. I'd never seen them live before, and I have to say that I was impressed. Oh, and also, the State Fair is a spectacle like no other. Fried Cheese Curds and Funnel Cakes and all-you-can-drink milk, that's what I'm talking about!
That's enough out of me. Maybe next time I'll tell you about the game we made up on the drive down to Indianapolis, and why we'll never, ever be able to make it!
8/25 - DOUBLE RANT ... uhm ... THURSDAY
Bobbi
Bobbi: *sigh*
Enough of this! I am here to discuss GenCon. If I had any memories of GenCon, it would be much easier. But no. Gone. Poof. I did email Wil Wheton yesterday though. :D He mentioned Disk Wars on his blog. So, I emailed him to introduce myself. Sure, I may have happened to mention that I had a crush on him back in his Wesley Crusher days (hey! I was 13!). I mentioned it to Brian, my boss. You know that look people give you when you say something really stupid? Yeah.
Dan: I never understood why people thought he was annoying. I kind of identified with him.
So, anyway, GenCon. Good times.
Dan: What kind of a troll wears a hat?
There are many people to thank for the success that GenCon was for us. First and foremost, our volunteers: Sarah, Pete, Brent, Matt, Billy, Darryl, Jonathan, Chris, Jason, Wes, Steve, Scott, Dave, Tina, Sabrina, Jason and Jason. A second large thank you goes to the GenCon staff and Peter Adkison. Love the shirt Peter. ;)
… T minus 8 days before my first round of paperwork is due for GenCon So Cal. D’oh.
Darrell
“So… you want to play Cthulhu?” he asked.
“Um… yeah,” I answered. “You got your deck?”
“No, I forgot it. You got a spare?”
I did indeed have a couple decks. He chose the Agency/Shub resource manipulation deck, leaving me with my mono-Cthulhu heavy hitter (AKA, the fat, slow deck). He beat me pretty severely and, while he was gracious about it, I could tell he was feeling a little cocky.
“You have time for another game?” I asked.
“I shouldn’t, but…”
“You gonna get fired?”
“Hey, man – I’m an independent contractor. I work for myself. And yeah, I’ll play another.”
So I grabbed my obnoxious Misk/Shub speed deck – the one I brought to GenCon to show off with – and beat him in three turns. It would have been my turn to feel cocky, except I was so humiliated after my previous defeat, the devastating win merely brought me back to my normal levels of self-confidence.
“I should get going,” the salesman said.
I sent the guy on his way with a “Cthulhu for President” promo card and directions to the nearest game store. Who knows? If you play Cthulhu in organized play, you might actually run into the guy. If so, tell him I said "Hi."
8/15 - Evil Dan
COUNTDOWN TO COLLAPSING IN A BROKEN HEAP FROM EXHAUSTION: ? HOURS**
Confession time: I have never been to GenCon. I have, in fact, never been to a Con worthy of the name. I have, honestly, no idea what to expect while I'm there. I know that I will be running or helping to run demos of Descent: Journeys in the Dark (which the latest word has arriving at GenCon on Thursday morning from Hong Kong via Yssaril smugglers), Fury of Dracula***, and Doom: The Board Game. The good news is that these are all games I know (more or less) and enjoy … but I am also hankering to get in a game of War of the Ring, which I've never found time and a group to play, or Twilight Imperium, the same. Maybe I'll sit in on one of our own demos! The Good Dan and I are debating leaving a game set up in the hotel room over the course of several nights, and that might actually work.
Now, here's the ludicrous part. I'm looking at a solid 8-hour shift of running games for people, up to my eyebrows in games as part of my job. And after that time is done, when it's time to relax and kick back, what am I thinking of doing? Not going out to the bars, no****. Not going to parties (although I will, of course, make an appearance at the FFG 10 Year Anniversary party), and not going out on the town with the crew. No, I'm talking about doing ANOTHER few hours of gaming – whether FFG games or those of our competitors.
All of which is clear evidence that I am on the right career track.
* I refer, of course, to the time at which GenCon begins for me, with a 10 hour drive through the Forsaken Midwest.
8/12 - Brian S
"I have a thousand years of power." Oh yeah. That'll be me in a decade or so. Mark my words.
8/11 - Michelle
I have only been to one other GenCon (Last year) and Tod & I hardly ever got to leave the FFG booth. We will have quite a few more people with us in the booth this year, though, so I plan to get out a more.
One week from today will also mark exactly 2 months since I got married. After 2 months of being married to me, I am sure my husband is ready to be rid of me for a weekend. I would be!
Sin City comes out on DVD on Tuesday, so I will be sitting downstairs on our comfy movie-watching couches for Tuesday night. Then I leave for Indiana on Wednesday. It sounds like a pretty swell “Goodbye, see you next Monday” farewell activity to me.
I have to get back to work, now – I hope to see many of you at GenCon!
8/10 - Scott W.
Last fall I started working for Rich Early at Paradox Comics-n-Cards in Fargo running Magic and Yu-Gi-Oh! tournaments. As part of my employment there, I started running board games on Saturday nights twice a month. One Saturday would be random games like Settlers of Catan, Ticket to Ride, or Risk 2210 AD. The other Saturday board gaming night was dedicated to playing Twilight Imperium.
My call the other day was from Rich informing me that beginning in September, board gaming is going to be back at ‘Dox. One of the guys that played last spring is going to start running some board games again with Twilight Imperium being called back into duty. So if you’re ever in the Fargo, ND and looking for some Twilight action, now you know where to find it.
8/09 - Thor
What to rant about today....
Well let's see, We have just finished shipping Runebound Second Edition out of here and it is now speeding its way to distributors everywhere (yea!).
GenCon is next week and we are going to be getting ready for our drive down there very shortly, as many of you have probably noticed because of the headline on the main page.
Oh, and this will be my last rant, I will be leaving the company at the end of August. No, there is nothing wrong here, Tony has not driven me nuts to the point of quitting. I am going back to school to finish my degree in computer science.
I have had a great time working here and wish the everyone here nothing but the best.
Well that's it for me, hope you all stop by the GenCon booth this year.
And until I see you at the gaming table...
Good Night
8/08 - Jim
I cannot post my weekly “freedom journal” without mentioning Metallagher. Metallagher has had two shows since my last “freedom journal” and they have been some of the most insane spectacles that I have witnessed in my life. Our August 4th show had most of the audience on stage a majority of our set. I remember looking down for a split second, then looking up and being shocked at the fact that I could no longer see the audience. In their place was twenty or so liquored up hooligans shouting along, and narrowly avoiding death by slipping on destroyed watermelons. It was good times had by all.
Random concerns.
Now that I have contaminated you with such mind numbing questions, here is a picture of Tom Bosley from the hit series Happy Days.
Well take care, until next time!
8/05 - Darrell
Poor bugger, he was a college student earning a little summer cash by selling overpriced educational books and software. While giving my wife and I the hard sell, he kept getting distracted by the half-opened box of Call of Cthulhu boosters on the table.
Finally, he had to ask what it was. My wife explained it was a CCG, and that I worked for the company that made it. He thought that was pretty cool.
When the guy was done with his pitch (and yeah, we bought something, so he doesn’t think we don’t love our children), he asked again about CoC.
“I can show you how to play,” I said.
“Okay.”
And so I gave him a demo. Turns out he was a Magic player back in the day, spent a lot of money on it, so I figure he was a good potential customer. I hooked him up with a starter and laughed. He came to give me his hard sell, so I gave him mine too.
It was only fair.
8/03 - Dan S.
Officially (officially because it was my idea, and I said so), I (Sales Dan) am the Good Dan, while Marketing Dan is the Evil Dan. (What does it say about me that my girlfriend supports this arrangement? -ed.) The justification is thus: Marketing is more evil than sales, because sales simply sell people things they already want, and marketing tries to get you to buy what you don’t need.
This is, however, only a theory. Perhaps Bobbi will offer her rebuttal in her next rant.
This idea has been expanded to other departments as well. Marketing Jim is, of course, evil, while Writing/Editing Jim is good. John Goodenough has to be good, since it’s part of his name, making Sales John True Neutral (we go by 2nd edition rules at FFG, apparently), and finally Media John is Evil, something True Neutral John will gladly attest to.
Now, I think we should all get our alignments printed on our business cards.
8/02 - Tony
So here I am once again and what shall I talk about. That's a good question - think I have already killed the Duck Duck thing. I walk through the office and see all these new faces and how large the office has gotten. Then I walk into my warehouse and realize for some odd reason I keep losing warehouse space to more offices. John G.(Sales) and I get together once in awhile and look back upon our time here at FFG. you see John and I started here at FFG together. Its been almost 3 years and so much has changed. Whyn John started out as a Temp working in the waarehouse with me, living the Curse of the Black Hands. When I started here I was 1 of somthing like 10 employees. Now we have somthing like 26. From one overly packed smaller warehouse space to taking over space next door and nearly tripling in size. This coming Gen Con will only be my 3rd. And yet there are only 6 other employees that have been here longer than I. I remember when Kevin was working on RPGs, as was Greg. I remember when Brian S. was the only Graphics guy; now we have 3 plus 1 one more for Marketing. Its really amazing how much has changed in only 3 years and yet it's so very exciting. For instance we are on our, I believe, 5th rant creature. and I have taken great pleasure in coming up with creative things to do to each one of them. Except one that is. I must admit. That seamonkey thing scared me - didnt dare try anything. In fact, I avoided her when I could. I love my job and am grateful to be here and hope to be here 3 years from now and doing a similair rant as this telling you how much bigger we have gotten. But for now I am adding a new feature to my rants that should cover me for a great many weeks. Specially with the way we keep growing. Cause now its time for Interviews from the warehouse. This is where I will choose an FFG employee and ask them a series of questions. Today I will start with The rant creature (which I have given a name today). So if we all could welcome to the warehouse Her Royal Rantness Grand Poobah Moo!
Well that was very nice of Grand Poobah Moo to spend a little time with us. Sounds like that marketing department is very hard at work making sure we give you folks our best at Gen Con. So if you see them, please be sure to tell them what a wonderful Job they are doing. Especially Bobbi and Tod, for they put their Blood, Sweat and Tears into getting everything together so you folks have the best FFG Gen Con experience there is. Thanks a bunch and see you all at Gen Con.
8/01 - Ryann
7/29 - Scott N.
Anyway I would love to tell you about my Warmachine fun that I have had but I haven’t. I am seriously getting the roleplaying bug from all the RPGing going on around here. Thinking about working on a Star Wars campaign but I don’t know if I have time for that either. I will be using the old West End rules if I do though cause they seem pretty easy and cool. Any who that is about all I got time for today. Maybe next time I will give you a treat with some pictures of my baby and warmachine figs.
Tootles
Scott N.
7/28 - Rich
First and foremost, I have been working hard to level my characters on World of Warcraft. Currently I’m working on my main character, a paladin, and also 6 of my alternate characters. So far I’ve got my Pally up to level 37, and the others are almost to level 15. Right now its getting pretty interesting, mostly due to the fact that my main is solely a gatherer (skinning and mining), so he’s been providing the goods to my alts so they can level their professions much faster than if I had trained them to gather their own materials. They are pumping out some pretty good stuff at this point. Plus I have my “salesperson” in Ironforge collecting all the good stuff that I can’t use and posting it on the Auction House, then redistributing funds through sales to all the characters. This is good, because I get bored of one character easily, so I can switch around with whom I’m playing with and still be able to buy the best equipment for my characters. Right now, though, I’ve been relaxing a bit and going through and leveling my fishing and cooking skills to get them up to a decent level.
The only thing that WoW can’t provide for me is my need to play a Gnomish Paladin, which is ok, because that’s what Thursday night RPG party time is for. Dan, our friendly neighborhood Webmaster, is also our current Game Master for our RPG group. Bibedo, my gnomish paladin, is the leader of the group, though others may disagree with this, but I have the highest Diplomacy, so I win. Plus, I’m normally the only one standing after a fight, so I win in this area too. I just wish all the NPCs would stop calling my character “cute”. He is the fist of Garl Glittergold, and with his Warhammer of Justice and the newly acquired Silver Masterwork Battleaxe of Doom, he will crush the evil forces in the land of Brael and beyond, and calling him cute is well... just silly. In any case, I’m hoping to get enough gold soon to afford a riding dog and a lance so I can start doing some real damage. As a side note, I was going to put up a picture of Bibedo in all of his primer-painted glory, but Bobbi was eating fruit by the camera, dripped a bunch of juice on it, and now it’s broken. Anyways, I’m a bit excited because I’m going to be running the next story arch for our RPG group. It will be my first time GM’ing, so wish me luck.
Well, I’m off. I leave you with this final bit of advice: don’t ask for a REAL Gundam for your birthday, because you’ll either get laughed at or you will be highly disappointed when your B-Day arrives and there is no giant robot in your driveway. Trust me... I know.
7/27 - Scott W.
Thought I’d start with a short list of things that I’ve recently purchased or recorded that I still haven’t found the time to get around to doing, or watching, or reading.
I have too many hobbies that interfere with my interests and then the whole work thing keeps getting in the way . . . and now for a couple of things that I HAVE gotten to do, or watch, or read:
5. Power Grid (with John G., but not that John G., the other John G. from FFG on Friday night)
7/26 - Tod
Speaking of Mars, I went and saw the new War of the Worlds film recently. Not bad. I think I’ve had enough of Tom Cruise, though. I much prefer the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen’s take on the classic H.G. Wells story, though. The second series of the LEG has the Victorian heroes facing the tripods. It’s pretty cool. The first issue actually starts on Mars and features John Carter leading an assault against the alien invaders. Highly recommended! Please note that I am strictly talking about the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comic book series and NOT the terribly disappointing film.
Current fave CDs:
7/25 - Bobbi
Monday, July 25, 2005. A mere 24 days to GenCon. We’re through (GenCon) the looking glass here people. My entire (GenCon) being is full of (GenCon) all the details involved with (GenCon) GenCon. Contrary to popular belief (GenCon), my life is not totally revolving around my job these days. I’ll have (GenCon) you know that I’ve been up to some (GenCon) pretty fun stuff! Like, (GenCon) just the other day I had a cup of coffee at (GenCon) my favorite local coffee house. It was (GenCon) a very good brew.
Dan says I should offer up for our gentle readers, some of the sage advice I randomly give him.
*ahem*
If you’re going to overdose on seeds, let them be sunflower seeds and not pumpkin seeds because let me tell you…!
But, if you’re going to eat sunflower seeds, eat them out of a cup like you’re drinking them, because, let me tell you…! Your keyboard will thank you!
I’d like to take a moment and thank Marcelo Figueroa for hooking me up with Tom Jones at Origins. Can you believe it! He works for Avalanche Press! He wrote “Happy Valentine’s Day” on his badge and we exchanged. I then spent the last day of Con walking around with Tom Jones’ badge and a huge grin – none of the security noticed.
And, on a final note, I jinda need to add that I’ve mostly been drinking tea in the morning. ;)
7/22 - DOUBLE RANT FRIDAY
Corey
Yes, I now know that the rumors of the rant monkey are true and he is both ruthless and cunning. Right now, as I type this rant I know that it does not appease him, he will do things to me that I cannot divulge on this rated G website. (I feel compelled to explain - the Rant Betty, herein referred to as the "Rant Monkey," has not been fully retired. She shares duties with the Rant Cow on Double Rant Fridays. - ed.)
So with my time running short, I imagine all the interesting things I could tell you about. I could tell you about the return of Britannia and all it’s glory. I could tell you about my loss of sleep over World of Warcraft the Boardgame. I could go into detail telling you about racial abilities, item drops, skills and talents.
But wouldn’t you know it, I am out of time. So until I find more, farewell…
-Corey Koniequezoieghopheling
Andrew
Thank you! Good night!
7/21 - Michelle
Sow, it’s time for one mooo-re rant and FFG has a new rant creature. NO BULL! She’s a cow. . .and I plan to milk it for all it is worth.
As usual, I have udderly no time and have been trying to figure out cow to fit writing into extremely Bessy schedule.
Hay, didn’t I ask you not to cower from my rant. . . it's not all that BAAAd! (Okay, so cows don’t “bah” – I have moseyed onto other farm animals, which I realize is quite sheep and a lamb thing to do, but what can ewe expect.)
Seriously though, I am only this bad about calf the time. I really don’t mean to be fowl, but punning has the a-maize-ing ability to burrow it’s nay into your brain and egg you on.
Well, it’s been swill, but I don’t want to hog all your thyme, so I will let you go on your mare-y whey.
(If this rant has left a bad taste in your mouth, please allow me to suggest that pepper-mince or spear-mince would probably make a good cure.)
7/20 - Dan S.
The other Dan mentioned Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is out. I picked it up Saturday afternoon, and have been reading fairly regularly ever since. Dan’s a faster reader than me, so I have to finish it up as quickly as possible so we can chat and giggle about it like a couple of eleven-year old girls (but manly eleven-year-old girls. -ed.). I’ve been sucked thoroughly into this book just as much as the last one, though I’m surprised to find it to be slightly less dark than the last. Just when the impending doom of Voldemort’s conquest of the world, mixed with the impending doom of pubescent hormones was nearly too much to take, apparently things have taken a step back. Of course, with about 120 pages to go, it could all hit the proverbial fan soon enough (Don't worry, it will. -ed.). In fact, I have a funny feeling that a dozen things I’ve been “hmm, there’s something funny going on…” about are going to be revealed any page now.
I have to say that it’s nice to work at a place where it’s cool to chat and giggle about Harry Potter like a bunch of eleven-year old girls (Damnit, Dan, you're ruining my reputation here! - ed.). Mostly they just looked at me funny at my last job.
Anyone other than me enjoy the Fantastic Four movie? My gripes are that not enough happened. There was basically one action sequence, and one fight sequence, and that was it. Spider-Man had a few fight scenes and a crime-fighting montage, and that seemed to work nicely. F4 could have probably stood to have had a little more action. Also, a nearly complete re-invention of Dr. Doom was perhaps not the best thing either. Despite all this, I thought the actors gave decent to good performances all around, and the character interaction was pretty good. A solid setup to a franchise. There’s great potential for a sequel, but also great potential for failure.
Wednesday nights are board game night for me and my friends. Today I’m dragging them into the office to playtest the new FFG version of Fury of Dracula! This is a game I’ve played a few times now, and have really enjoyed. One player plays Dracula, being chased all around Europe, while the other players play the roles of Dr. Seward, Professor Van Helsing, and Lord Godalming, who do the chasing. They look for clues to his whereabouts while encountering obstacles left by the Dracula player to challenge them and throw them off his trail. I’m looking forward to seeing what changes and updates have been made to the new edition. We’ll keep you updated!
7/19 - Thor
Well it has been a long time since I last ranted (thought not as long as it had been for Tony, I think).
What's this Dan said a, prefect Rant week, well then I better get to my rant, I don't want to screw up a streak like that. (Good! -ed.)
I can't believe that the weather has finally cooled off. Last week it was mid 90's all week and that was really HOT (No air-conditioning in the warehouse - I'm so glad I'm just the web-guy! -ed.)! Now it is only mid 80's, high 70's, it is much better. What else is there.... I can't think of anything.... My head is starting to hurt, I think I better stop trying to think of more things to rant about and just say good night
Stay cool every one.
7/18 - Dan C.
So you may have gathered that there have been some hirings lately here at FFG. Things have shaken up in general, with me shifting desks like three times in the past month and other people moving their offices as well. You've met Scott W. and Jim and James and Brian B. (Corey rounds out our latest hires), but what may not have been made clear to you is that Dan S. and Bobbi are pretty new, too – heck, I've been here six months and I'm already a seasoned veteran. Fantasy Flight Games is unfolding and expanding like some sort of beautiful flower, or perhaps like some sort of alien blob, bursting from its confines and consuming all in its path. (Please choose whichever image you prefer).
So, I used to be the Organized Play and Customer Service guy around here (a position sometimes also referred to as the Marketing Communications Assistant, or the Marketing Monkey), but now I wear a new hat: I am now Grand Web Poobah. Anything that is wrong or broken on the FFG website is officially my fault as of about the beginning of the month (anything that is good or stylish about the website is, of course, Ryann's fault). My other duties include various Marketing-ish tasks, which basically consists of telling everyone why I like our games so much.
My new copy of City of Heroes arrived before my new computer. This is actually much worse than having a Christmas present sitting unopened in front of you for a week.
Took the girlfriend (or rather, was took by the girlfriend) to Como Zoo and the Conservatory over the weekend. If anyone is in the St. Paul area and trying to find a good, cheap date, I highly encourage both.
All in all, life is pretty grand.
You thought I was kidding about the hat, didn't you.
7/15 - DOUBLE RANT FRIDAY
Brian S.
Today we are wrapping up a week long battle that is the largest HeroClix game I have ever participated in. We have ten players divided into two teams. Each player brought a 500 point team to the table. That’s right, its a 5000 point HeroClix game! (Wow! Does getting excited about this make me a geek or what?) Anyway there have been some amazing moments of superheroics: like Tuesday when Thing crushed Nightcrawler with a soda machine, or on Thursday, with an incredible display of teamwork, Green Lantern lifted Nightwing to a rooftop so he could Outwit and then blast Superman for mucho damage. (Or when Judge Dredd, Captain Atom, and Major Force ganged up on Thor and dropped him in one turn, you punks! -ed.)
While we're doubling-up on names, why not add a James to compliment our Jim? - ed.
James
I’m a lifelong gamer. I was into RPGs and PC games in my younger days, then was briefly addicted to CCGs, then 3 or 4 years ago I got very into “euro” board games. Current favorites include El Grande, Around the World in 80 Days, and lots of stuff by Knizia. I also love a big, flavorful “experience” game like the A Game of Thrones board game or Dune when I have the time (I’m dying to play Arkham Horror). Really though, I like all kinds of games: barroom shuffleboard, poker, fantasy football, cribbage, you name it.
I just moved out to Minneapolis a couple weeks ago, from Providence, RI, so in addition to the excitement of a new job, I’m having fun exploring a new part of the country and discovering things like the fact that kids in Minnesota play “Duck Duck Grey Duck” instead of “Duck Duck Goose” (see Tony’s rant of 7/12). So far I am digging “Minnefabulous.”
I share an office with game developers John G. and fellow new guy Corey, so as I’m proofreading and editing away I overhear their conversations about tweaks to World of Warcraft and ideas for the new Britannia map. Neat stuff! (Curses! I had no opportunity to edit the editor! Next time, James, oh, next time ... -ed.)
7/14 - Brian B.
As the new Business Development Manager, my job will be to help the sales, marketing and operations parts of FFG bring the best games possible to the market. It is really fun to be part of a company where the enthusiasm everyone has for what they do is so evident and infectious. If you have ever run into an FFG employee at a convention or local game store, I can vouch that their love for gaming is genuine and not a put on. These people love this stuff. They really, really care about what they do and want to make the coolest games possible and I’m honored to help them do that. And they swear they will make a gaming geek out of me yet.
7/13 - Scott W.
What to rant about? When I think of rants I think of Dennis Miller. I’m not that angry or frustrated with the world. If I have any complaints about anything it’s that there’s too much of everything to do and not enough time to barely even sample it all. Also after moving from the Fargo-Moorhead area to the Twin Cities, I realize I should move more often. It would force me to part with some of my possessions that I seemed to have acquired over the past decade. Too many DVDs, CDs, games and books. Moving books is a great workout though, assuming it doesn’t kill you or break your back.
The upside to the move is that my family is now in a place with enough bedrooms for the three kids and a finished rec room/family room area where I have placed all my shelves, floor to ceiling, wall to wall with all the books, games, movies and CDs that I broke my back moving. (In case John R. ever reads this, I will note that he did most the work!) Now I just have to get into some gaming groups . . . .
7/12 - Tony
Ok, so after walking through the office and asking everyone and compiling the emails I received, it was about a 60/40 ratio in favor of goose. But then, it's not really fair since I would say atleast 60% of the office is not from Minnesota. Hmm ... maybe I should explain.
So I grew up playing the game and calling it Duck, Duck, Grey Duck. But as I got older I discovered from my friends from other states that apparently the other 49 states say Goose. But actually I discovered today that apparently Hudson, WI patrons also say "grey duck." Then again, they are so close to MN that it could have bled over the border. But one of the new guys says this is changing and that his kids are learning the game here in school and they are learning Goose.
I also had a gentlemen from Montana inform me that they played Fox and Goose and ask "why would a goose chase a duck?" But I say, "have you ever met a goose?" They are mean. lol. So back to trying to get my warehouse into the order I need - with the remodeling it's a mess. Happy gaming to all and to all a happy gaming.
(Dead) Tony
7/11 - Jim
I am me.
7/11 - Darrell
So here’s a short list of stuff. Take it, know it, love it.
CoC: Eldritch Edition – Gorgeous! Haven’t bought my box yet, but hope to next week, when I have time to absorb the set and make some decks.
Runebound SE – Has shipped. They say it’ll be here by the end of the month, but I’ll believe it when I see it.
Batman Begins – Saw it last weekend and loved it. They got everything right, right down to the growl in his voice.
Hollywood Card Game – What is it? It’s like LOCO, but with movies. And it’s shipping from the printer in a few weeks.
Land of the Dead – Also saw it last weekend (my wife and I left the kids with her mom while we snuck off to the movies for the afternoon). You know I like the zombies, and the movie had them in spades. Good, solid zombie flick. Nothing ground-breaking, but fun just the same.
Runebound Island of Dread – This long-dormant beast is actually at the printer. Someone, somewhere, is losing a bet.
Descent – We got plastic samples in, and folks have been stopping by my desk for the past two days to play with the toys. If you’re good, I may show you pictures. The monsters are awesome!
Runebound card expansions – I’ve been calling ‘em “adventure packs,” but I’m sure Marketing has their own fancy-schmancy name for these cool little expansion decks. New adventures, new equipment, it’s all cool. I had nothing to do with it, but I gave it a quick read, and Rob did a bang-up job. I’m looking forward to playing with them.
New Hires – We keep hiring people. We’ve hired so many people, we had to remodel the place and add four new offices. On the upside, we’re getting an actual server for the network and a phone system that will reduce the amount of running down the hall calling, “Has anyone seen Tod?” On the downside, I can’t remember any of the new guys’ names, and if I’m five minutes late to work, there isn’t a parking spot within half a mile of the front door.
Ranting – I’ve ranted. I’m done. I’m going home. Have a good weekend.
6/22 - Tod
The new Batman movie rocks! It does a good job of sweeping aside the crap that the last two films brought forth and puts the franchise back on track. Ras al Ghul is the coolest Batman villan ever! I’m hoping that they can find a good way to bring him back for a sequel and introduce his daughter, Talia.
Now I need to finish running around getting things ready for Origins next week. I hope to see some of you there.
6/20 - Dan C
But, lo! Like a cherished fantasy novel, now light breaks from the West, and at 3 in the afternoon the rosy pink light of dawn rises on the wrong side of the world. We have weathered the storm. We shall persevere and continue to produce quality gaming goodness … until the next time the Dark Lord is freed, when all bets are off and I'm swapping my office for one in the core of the building, away from any large voids and with no windows.
I'd never heard a tornado warning siren before I moved out here.
6/15 - Scott
What am I working on, well Runebound: Island of Dread is leaving for the printer this week. And Descent proofs have been approved and should start printing any day now. Plus the container of Arkham Horror boardgame should be here soon, too. So all of my boardgame babies are coming home soon.
On the gaming front I must mention that I have found some time to paint more of my Khador army for warmachine and will be bringing a crushing defeat to Andrew at lunch next week.
Oh, now for my current “TOP TEN ANYTHING LIST”
See ya
6/9 - Bobbi
Shoe, meet other foot.
It’s after 7pm on my second Wednesday as FFG’s Marketing Director and I’m not sure when I’ll be going home. The problem? So many cool things to tell people about and so few hours in the day! Well, that and a lack of sanity, crossed with too much sugar and a pinch of I-love-my-new-chair-itis.
My gaming background is mostly RPGs. I’m a BIG fan of Fireborn and am getting my mind bent around Midnight while eagerly anticipating Grimm. I also have a subtle addiction to Citadels and Runebound (just wait for Second Ed. and Descent!). Do NOT get me started on Ingenious! The CCGs are a fairly new thing for me. I spent a big chunk of last Sunday learning Call of Cthulhu. And I’ll have you know, after all that time invested, I still suck. Inter-office League, look out.
Music I’m listening to? Well, mostly all borrowed from der Tod and put into my iPod Shuffle (affectionately named “BOBBiPod”). At this very moment, PJ Harvey’s, “You Said Something.” Love it.
Things about me worth knowing: I’m a pathetic anglophile (lived in Brum for 2 years—can do a killer Brummie impression); also lived in Poland for a year and a half (Peace Corps); LOVE ALL THINGS WELSH (like Catatonia, Tom Jones and the Welsh dragon); despite 13 years or RPGing, I started my first real D&D game this past Tuesday; my uni degrees are in history and anthropology; and, ummm, Trevelyan is really my favorite. ;)
6/8 - Dan S.
My new job isn’t too scary so far. The Johns (McGuinness and Grams) have been patient and helpful. Hopefully soon, I’ll be more or less self-reliant and these guys can stop holding my hand and get some of their ever-increasing workloads done. I’m one of two Sales Associates (the other guy starts next month). Right now I’m mostly trying to absorb as much as I can of what’s being thrown at me.
This new job also marks the first time I’ve ever worked anything resembling normal business hours. After working for years second shift, I get to finish work every day and actually go places that are open! I’m going to see the midnight show of “Batman Begins” on the “largest screen in the Midwest!” next Tuesday. Let me tell you- 2 am is a lot later than it used to be. I’m sure Wednesday will be fun.
It’s amazing sometimes how small the world is. Three days into working here and I find out that I was Best Man at Pat’s cousin Joe’s wedding. Imagine that. Unfortunately, I had only three days to get to know Pat (see the last rant). I’m sure I’ll see him again.
I’m a long time gamer, playing D&D for about 15 years. I play a regular board game night every Wednesday with my friends Matt, John, and Jason, and roleplay every Saturday with the same Matt, plus Leah, Amber, and Vid (Hi guys!) I’m also currently the only person in the office with dreadlocks. So, I’m feeling pretty special right about now.
See you next rant, and see you at Gen Con!! It’s great to be here.
6/2 - Pat
I’m a little sorry to be leaving, especially since this is such an exciting time for the company. Anybody who’s been cruising our web site lately knows that we’ve been hiring new staff like crazy, and anyone who’s stopped by the offices has seen the construction crews tearing out walls, building new walls, painting walls… in short, everything necessary to create offices for over half a dozen new staff members.
As well, 2005 will be a huge product year for the company: Descent: Journeys in the Dark, World of Warcraft: The Board Game. COC’s Eldritch Edition and AGOT’s Winter Edition, Arkham Horror, Warrior Knights, and… and… and … whew.
But I’m setting sail for shores unknown, at least metaphorically. Well, mostly unknown: a couple of writing projects of mine are starting to kick into high gear, most of which I can’t talk about yet, but one of which, oh, might be a follow-up to this, focusing largely on tabletop RPGing…
My very capable assistant Dan Clark will be taking over my role, and the lovely and talented Roberta Olson is coming on board to raise the Marketing Department to new and dizzying heights. Give them your love, my friends. But before I go, I’d like to thank everybody who made my time here at FFG so pleasant:
5/20 - Rich
You may ask yourself, “Self, what does he do at FFG?” Well, have you ever gone to another country that doesn’t speak English (like Sweden), and you were looking around one of their hobby shops, minding your own business, when out of the shadows jumps DOOOOOOOM!!! the Board Game, and its in SWEDISH, so you’re like “WOW, I gotta buy this so I can tell all my friends I played DOOOOOM!!! The Board Game in frickn’ Swedish!”
So you buy it and bring it back to your hotel/motel/rental van and you try to play the game, but you can’t remember the rules due to a brain fart and/or not ever playing the game before, so you can’t play the game because it's in Swedish (if you speak or know Swedish, replace all instances of Swedish with Swahili). So then you end up having to go out somewhere, find someone who can translate the rules for you, but all you find is some guy who can translate Swedish to German (we’ll call him Bob) So now, you end up having to find this other guy who speaks German and English (we’ll call him Bob, too) so the two Bobs can get together and figure out what the heck is going on, which is good, because it’s a multiplayer game anyways.
Now that everyone gets together, you can finaly play the game. While you are playing, you think to yourself, “Hey self... isn’t it great that they made this international version of DOOOOM!!!, because otherwise we wouldn’t have met the Bobs, and they’re a good bunch of guys. I wonder who I should thank for this great opportunity.” Well that, my friends, would be me. But I digress...
Anyways, I was reading the posts the other day, and happened to peruse Darrell’s little message of the day (4/19 to be exact) that implied that he was laying the smack down on my Cthulhu game. Now to give you a little background, I had never played Cthulhu before working at FFG. After a couple rounds, I got the hang of it, and at that point I was letting Darrell win, learning his moves. Then I decided playtime was over, so after a bit of smack talk, we sat down to determine if said smack talk had truth. That’s when I pulled out my super-modified Cthulhu/Agency deck and proceeded to blow him up at every turn. He thought he was getting a small upper hand at one point, right before I pulled out RRRAAARGH Cthulhu - and laid even more waste to his forces.
Needless to say, I won the round. Since that day, Darrell has been clamoring to defend his honor, and in his defense, after he built a new deck, we’ve been 50/50. It’s great, though, because I give him a run for his money, and Cthulhu is the first CCG I’ve played.
Well, that’s about it. More rants as they come up. I leave you with this word of the day: meretricious. Definition: superficially plausible. Use it today.
5/13 - Dan
Oh, but you don’t believe me that the office is a harsh and demanding environment, do you? Well, let me give you a 100% true* account of what a day in the life of my job is like.
I skid into the parking lot, my tires smoking, at 9:59 AM exactly, covered in crusty kitten milk replacer and soot from the flames dotting the obstacle course that guards our office driveway. I only have sixty seconds to clean myself up, put out the fire in my engine block**, and curse loudly as I realize I forgot to pack my lunch because work begins at 10:00 AM sharp. The massive airlock seals at that time and then the entire complex submerges itself deep into the bowels of the Earth. Or possibly it shunts into another dimension, I don’t know; there aren’t any windows in my office. The point is that we take security very seriously here at Fantasy Flight Games.
The reason why becomes apparent as soon as I sit down to check the phone messages. In between various staff members calling in sick or delayed by velociraptor attack, there are cryptic missives from Ancient Ones that must be relayed to Pat, screaming death threats from generally unknown sources that for some reason are usually directed at Kevin, and angry squawkings that indicate I should climb up to the rookery and check for ravens from Westeros (these go to Chris – I never get to read the contents, but they suspiciously seem to bear a mockingbird seal...). Oh, and sometimes there’s a message for me, about Gold Dragons or my lack of Sanity.
Once that’s accomplished, I plug in and access the ‘net. Our IC are as good as they get, but there’s always some hacker or virus or semi-sentient software agent waiting for me when I try to access my mailbox. One rollicking CGI meta-fight-scene later, my cyber-avatar stands panting over the fading pixels of my foe, and then I get to read my e-mail, which is almost always a mistake***.
Once that’s accomplished, I access our secure database and download prize support requirements directly into my wetware and return to meatspace. My next step is to visit the printer next door. This is generally when I am attacked by ninjas for the first time on a given day****. Fortunately, the Inverse Law of Ninja Numerical Superiority is in my favor in these encounters, and I am able to handily dispatch them by hurling fading DOOM dice at their faces and declaring them out of ammunition. I occasionally have to revive John Goodenough, who is new here and hasn’t yet learned to deal with the odd ninja incursion, and then I recover my list of names and addresses and head out back.
To the Vault.
Other companies have warehouses. We have a warehouse, of course, and using extremely sophisticated technology on loan from the Emirates of Hacan, we are able to continue shipping and receiving throughout the day, despite the potentially extrasolar location of our facilities. But we also have the Vault, which is deep below the warehouse behind a secret door whose location I cannot divulge here (the ninjas may be reading this rant!). After passing through this door, I pick up my guards – today Sir Valadir and Landrec the Wise. You may have heard Descent: Journeys in the Dark described as a fantasy re-make of DOOM, but it is actually a very realistic representation of a trip down into the Vault. Monsters of all sorts beset us as we make our way through the ever-changing corridors, until I am finally able to make the Thirteen Honored Supplications before the Blessed Door of Wealth and Fortune. The door opens, I leave my guards waiting outside, and enter. Surrounded by glittering gold and jewels, dwarfed by the monument to Magdar (safely sealed in a mithril shell and making a rather nice statue at this point), I gather up the Gold Dragon notes and Sanity certificates I have come for.
Then I step on the closest glyph of recall and head back to the surface, leaving my guards to fend for themselves. I’m usually behind schedule by now.
On my trip back through the warehouse, I fight off another ninja assault by scattering Blue Moon promotional cards across the floor. Distracted by this booty, the ninjas ignore me as I nip into the back, scrape up replacement parts I know I’ll need for later, and hitch a ride with a World War I flying ace back to my office.
Then I stuff a whole bunch of envelopes, officially seal and stamp and label and mail all the prize support, and possibly enjoy a chat with my office mate (unless she’s been replaced by a doppleganger bent on infiltrating the company – which happens about twice a month).
After that it’s lunch time, a period known for the consumption of sustenance and possibly for the enjoyment of one of the many games we make here in our pocket reality outside of space and time.
Then it’s back into the cybernet, my neurocannula pulsing with gigabytes of data. But what is this? Our IC has been subverted against me! With black ice hot on my electronic trail, I skate into my mailbox again and execute a wetware-dump of all the data – no time to filter out the spam! Then I’m logging out and tearing the mindjack out of my skull before the feedback can kill me.
Now emboldened by my knowledge of where to find all sorts of exotic pornography*****, I set about filling replacement parts orders. This is the most peaceful part of my day, as I simply wrap, staple, tape, filter, collate, assemble, and otherwise deal with the wide and wonderful variety of bits that occasionally require replacement to our fans across the world. I only have to make two trips to the warehouse to track down esoteric parts requests, and fortunately the pirates are in full swing and keeping the ninjas thoroughly occupied. Also, Thor has located his hammer (it was underneath a pallet of A Reign of Kings boosters) and the warehouse is well on its way to becoming safe once more.
Near the end of my day, I brave a trip across the hall (and the associated widening river of magma that is making its way through the building/space station/dungeon) to the Sales Office, where all sorts of unspeakable depravities are routinely committed. Various projects for these people land on my desk all the time, and today I am bugging John McGuinness (our Domestic Sales Honcho) for release dates on this product or that product, or asking John Grams (our Intergalactic Sales Honcho) if there are any plans for a Klingon version of Citadels******.
Finally, it reaches the end of my day. I gather my things, turn off the lights, tip the henchgnome whose frantic peddling keeps my computer supplied with electricity, and make my way to the Aerie, where I take a griffon down to the parking lot, throw a leg of mutton onto the asphalt to distract the velociraptors, call 911 to get some medical assistance for Rich, who forgot his leg of mutton today, and finally drive home, where replacement kitten milk crusties actually spontaneously generate on my clothing before I’m out of the car.
Sounds easy, right? You could do my job. No problem.
* For certain values of “true.”
5/11 - Andrew
What’s going on… let’s see… yes, Midnight Second Edition went out the door a little over a week ago. We’re currently awaiting the proofs from the printer, and, after the approval process is done, M2E will hit the presses. I’m sure all you Midnight fans out there will enjoy this book. It’s pretty. It’s super-cool. And, it’s enormous. What self-respecting role-player doesn’t enjoy an enormous book?
On the personal side of things, I’ve been dividing my free time between moving into my new house and all the new exciting things that come with home ownership (such as mowing the lawn) and playing Warmachine, which continues to enthrall me. Just yesterday I picked up my Revenant Crew unit box, and I can’t wait to use it to beat my opponents (such as Scott Nicely, fellow Graphic Artist) into submission. I expect the ensuing battles to consist mostly of me advancing my units across the table and whoever I happen to be playing against (perhaps Scott Nicely, fellow Graphic Artist) moving their units off the nearest convenient table edge in terror. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Would you look at that? It’s time to head home, and what a value I’ve provided! I promise one paragraph of mediocrity, and I deliver not one, but THREE! In your face, Milwaukee!
5/9 - Michelle
To add boredom to lateness, I am afraid I really don’t have anything interesting to share with all of our loyal readers. It is an early-ish Monday morning here at FFG. By early-ish I mean 10:15, but our work day did just start.
I had a pretty good weekend. We took my mother and future mother-in-law out to eat for Mother’s Day, which was a good time. Afterwards my sister, my sister’s boyfriend and I went to one of those fairs/rides-in-front-of-a-mall thingies. This is a great way to waste a lot of money quickly. The highlight for me was the Zipper (the oval-shaped ride where you are in a small cage and get spun around). One of the people who was running a different ride went on the ride with me and he got the cage to spin around 11, almost 12, times in a row. My sister was so jealous. Good fun!
As I said – adding boredom to lateness. Sorry to all who spent their precious time to read my ramblings.
Countdown:
4/25 - Darrell
It’s been over a week. I guess Pat has better things to do than hound and harangue delinquent ranters.
I will reward his patience (and yours, dear reader) with not one, but five rants: one for each day I was late. Let’s begin:
4/18
4/19
4/20
I tried my hand at painting once or twice back in the day. I spent an afternoon or two at Tod’s house slapping paint on my Deadlands and Combat Zone figs. It was fun. The results were pretty bad, but it was fun.
Beyond peer pressure and a vague memory of fun, I’m also thinking of things I can do with my 3-year-old daughter that don’t include running, jumping, and otherwise trying to keep up with her. No, I’m not going to turn her loose on her own Warhammer army, but she likes to paint with her watercolor set. I figure she can do that while I do a similarly-skilled job on some poor pewter figure. It’s bonding, it’s geeky, and it keeps her from poking the baby every five minutes, saying, “Look! She’s awake!”
But brushes and paint cost money. I don’t like spending money, especially on a hobby that can best be defined as “half-hearted.” Conveniently enough, Kevin has been cleaning house and relieving himself of many gaming possessions for which he no longer has need – including a pretty complete painting set. He was glad to be rid of the paints, and I was glad to take them off his hands. Life is good.
4/21
Last week, I got to flesh out the background for the Runebound board game (the last game I did any true development on). This week, I’m working up flavor text for Descent scenarios. Big fun, full of creepy atmosphere. It’s good to keep my hand in the game (so to speak), and it’s better to be able to do so without deadlines.
4/22
Dungeon-crawling boardgames? Great. I enjoy DOOM and Descent and the handful of other tactical boardgames of that ilk. They’re basically dumbed-down miniatures games with boards, and I can get behind that.
But in RPGs? Dungeons bore me to tears. And while playtesting Descent, I think I’ve figured out why:
In order to play an RPG dungeon-crawl correctly (i.e. to incur the minimal risk and damage), you must play it slowly. Check for traps every ten feet. Search the shadows. Listen at the door. If you don’t actively take these steps, the dungeon will hurt you. But doing these things is repetitive and tedious. So much so, in fact, that more than once I’ve given up on playing it safe and just charged in. Yeah, I took some damage, but by gum I was DOING something INTERESTING – and isn’t that what roleplaying is all about? If we want repetitive and tedious, why are we bothering with escapist entertainment? Just get a good temp job and thrill to the repetitive tedium of the modern office.
And that’s why I hate dungeon-crawls.
4/13 - Tod
All of the Revenge of the Sith movie tie-in books and toys are out in stores already, so you can spoil the surprise! The Clone Wars animated series Season 1 finally just came out on DVD and the new ones are available to watch online now. I highly recommend this series! This series tells us that Lucas should just come up with the basic ideas, and then turn it over to someone else who really has more reverence for Star Wars.
I must admit that I was a bit underwhelmed by the “Classic” Star Wars Trilogy DVDs. When films like the Lord of the Rings are setting the bar for quality DVD features, you’d think that Lucas would put forth a little more effort. Even the Episode I and II DVDs had better extra stuff. Half of the extras are just advertisements for the new video games and the new film. I would have really liked to have seen the original documentaries like “From Star Wars to Jedi” included instead of the new “Lucas Is A Genius” propaganda-documentary. And I have a hard time believing that they couldn’t find any other actors in addition to Carrie Fisher to contribute to the commentary. She’s got some interesting things to say but her comments are pretty sparse.
Anyway, despite all of the flaws, I’m still a big Star Wars fan.
Current fave CDs:
4/12 - Brian
If you are not familiar with "Kinder Eggs" this may come as a surprise, but in other countries (where the children aren't stupid enough to eat toys) you can purchase the coolest candy EVER: "Kinder Eggs" (they are called all sorts of different names depending on the country of origin). These delightful little foil-wrapped chocolate eggs have a plastic capsule inside.
Once you eat the candy, you pop open the plastic capsule and check out your new toy. They usually come with a little strip of paper to show you what other toys are part of the current collection. Sometimes they have a complet |
Tony: Welcome your Royal Rantness!
Please don’t cower from my rant. . .
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is out and I'm resolutely NOT reading it at work, no matter how much I wish I were. I'm half-done and so far there is a quite satisfactory amount of snogging and nearly enough Britishisms to suit me, so there's that.
UPDATE: OK so now one of the FNG's here at FFG presented me with proof this morning about this whole "Duck Duck" thing. So maybe we are strange here in MN. Maybe it's the weather. I think maybe it's just our way of being different. Course I also work in the warehouse all day long where the tempature is either sub-zero to the point were the office employees are afraid to venture back or it's so humid and warm again the office is afraid to venture back. Hmm suddenly starting to wonder if that's the real reasons they dont venture back. Maybe they found out my master plan to put them all to work back here.
