I actually wrote this last year, but thought I'd share again and wish everyone a Happy whatever you celebrate :)
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the trench
Gorilla carcasses littered the ground, filling the mud and stench
The shotguns's were slung on their shoulders with care
Knowing that another Axis offensive soon would be there
The soldiers were nestled all snug in their dread
While visions of lasers and gasmasks filled their heads
Joe Brown scanning the field for signs of the enemy
Had just settled down for a well deserved MRE
When out towards the perimeter, there arose such a clatter
Bazooka spun out of his fatigue to see what was the matter
Away to wall of the trench like a flash
He tore up the ladder as he tripped over some trash
The moon on the mud and lightly falling snow
Gave too much daylight to the figures below
When what would be out there, what was afoot?
But a gigantic Lothar and some zombies to boot
But a figure, all dark was the one he would hex
He knew in a moment it was the dreaded Grenadier X
More rapid than rats, his zombies they came
Joe spun around and called his squads up by name
Now Hellboys! Now Gunners! Now BBQ Squad!
On Red Devils! On Hammers! Get up to the top!
To the top of the ladder, to the top of the wall!
Now move it you monkeys! Move it you all!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
The zombies would clear an obstacle, seeming to launch in the sky
So up the perimeter, the undead they flew
With the hell in their eyes, and Grenadier X too
And then in a second, Joe snapped back to life
Pulled out his launcher and readied his knife
As he drew up his head and gave them a glare,
The squads behind him started to light up the air
X was a gruesome sight from head to foot
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot
A gigantic bladed weapon he pulled off his back
And brought it to life, felling an ally with a hack
His eyes seemed dead empty, his pallid flesh decayed
His buzzsaw spinning wildly as soldiers flesh he flayed
His mouth seemed to grin as he moved through the crowd
Red splatters against the engine, all oily and loud
When finally from behind the trench and the wall
Joe pulled in a deep breath as he recognized the Fireball!
The walker came across the field of death
And readied its muzzle to unleash its hot breath
Grenadier X finally stopped his carnage cold
The other zombies, not smart enough to follow the retreat they were told
As a flare sparked the front end of the cannon of fire
It spread it's death over X and his lot, creating a pyre
Joe spoke not a word as the fire blew away
Through the mist and smoke, he spotted his prey
Grenadier X limped away, a bit burned and scorched
The Lothar retreated, not saving any that were torched
Joe sprang to the top of the Fireball, giving the Axis a whistle
And watched them all fly like the down of a thistle
And they heard him exclaim, these words he did yell
"Merry Xmas you bastards, next time I'll burn you all to hell!"